Lauren Beccaria: I think the grammatical errors in the thesis are taking away from the clearness of your topic. There is potential in your idea and spreading your own ideas to society to help yourself; however, I think the wording is confusing.
Sami Kakar: I agree with Lauren with the grammatical errors are taking away from your main point. Your ideas are forming and you’re going towards the right path. I would suggest clearing up your thesis a little and be a little more specific to what you’re going to be writing about
Jeff Biancaniello: I agree with them about the grammatical errors they could make your topic more clear. The idea is there I think the wording could get changed a little. The word choice could make it more clear and make the thesis better.
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