Bella and Noah
Constructive: The wording for your thesis is confusing and the solution is not conveyed effectively. In order to fix this, you can shorten your thesis and remove unnecessary details, making it straight to the point.
Substantial Feedback: Good topic selection and the quotes strongly support the problem, not the solution. Work on connecting Freire’s ideas to your solution, and cut quote out of thesis.
Bella: You should find some quotes that support your solution in order to make it applicable within Freire’s “banking system”.
Noah: Something to think about is how you’ll be able to connect the idea of communication with professors regardless of gender, race, or class with Freire’s work.
