1. You do a really good job at explaining your quotes and how the relate to your topic.
2. Your thesis could have a way to solve the problem.
3. Your quotes from Percy are really good especially the third one because of how he talks about the subjects.
Month: October 2019
Comments on Mimi’s topic proposal
Positive: I think this is a strong idea and is something that is important, people need to learn to interact with different.
Negative: Add why the classes that aren’t specific to your major are helpful.
Use of Percy: I think that this is a great quote that you can use, you just will have to explain its meaning.
Comments on Ava Hill’s topic proposal
Use of Percy: Your quotes from Percy clearly reinforce the ideas that you are presenting and how learning wont occur from direct presentation of information.
Positive: The last statement in the thesis goes right along with both Percy and Friere’s ideas, I believe this is the right way for learning to happen.
Negative: I feel as if the second example is a bit broad, how could this help across all classes.
Comments on Ruthie Lohmann’s proposal
1. This is very well written and I really like how well you described the thesis and explaining the issue.
2. With supporting detail 1 explain better how teachers would be co learners a little more.
3. I think your Percy quote goes really well with what you are saying and have similar meanings.
Comments for Olivia (Mimi) Riley’s Topic Proposal
Positive: I like the thesis. I believe that you really understand the topic and could do really well.
Negative: Expand more on what you are saying. Be more detailed
Use of Percy: I like how this quote goes with point number one. I like the idea that taken the beaten path can also lead to more
Comments on Ava Hill’s Topic Proposal
Positive: It was good to see you use both Freire and Percy to introduce that knowledge is only achieved through experience.
Negative: My question is how would the professor giving the students help? I feel as though it may be hard to tie this in.
Use of Percy: I like how you used Percy’s quote to directly correlate to your thesis.
Response to Olivia Vearling
Criticism: Personally I would use different quotes and ideas from Percy to support your claim. Adding more will be very beneficial.
Praise: Personally, I think your thesis is very strong, your sub-points are very supportive of your thesis and I think you should do well with elaborating on it.
Use of Percy: You use quotes from Percy very well, I think adding more quotes will help aid in the support.
Response to Sean Redding
Criticism: Personally I think your thesis was excellent but I would elaborate on it more, since you have a lot of information for your sub-points.
Praise: I think your thesis is very strong, and your sub-points are excellent.
Use of percy: I think your use of percy was excellent, you included quotes and words as textual evidence to support your claim which definitely made your thesis stronger.
Project 2 Proposal Comments – Grady Leonard
Meghan Kidd:
Praise: I like your stance on Gen Eds and how pointless they are
Use of Percy: This quote fits well with what you want to talk about regarding Gen Eds
Constructive: This doesn’t really say what you’re going to be writing about in your paper, elaborate more on what you want to write about
Olivia Vearling:
Praise: I think this is a good idea because you are not just focusing on the school work but are also learning just life experience.
Use of Percy: No use of Percy
Constructive: I don’ think that this is enough, just doing tutoring is not enough to transform learning at WCU.
Comments for Ava’s Topic Proposal Project 2
(It wouldn’t let me leave a comment under Ava’s post so I made a new post)
Positive: Your quotes are spot on. They match your thesis perfectly and I think will be a big help while writing your paper.
Negative: Make sure to incorporate Freire’s writing in an effective way throughout the paper
Riley: You did a good job creating a thesis that shows your opinion clearly. You also connected it Percy as well as Friere perfectly. I like the fact that you strongly showed that a change at WCU needed to be made!
Gabby: I love that you chose to incorporate Freire in the beginning , I would have done the same thing. I would pick and chose to find the best fit of what makes sense and where it makes most sense to apply Freire, but good job also incorporating Percy.
Peer Review for Amanda Regan
Praise: The point you made about students taking classes that seem like a waste of time for their major is good.
Constructive: I think you should talk about Percy more in your thesis.
Percy: The quotes that you have selected go well with what you are trying to get across.
Peer Review for Adam Griffin
Praise: The points you made about students having much more work to do outside of class are good.
Constructive: I think you should include Percy more in your thesis.
Percy: The quotes from Percy that you utilized are strong and work well with the topic.
Lauren’s Team peer review Luke Jarvis
Lauren:
Positive-I think your ideas about use of time outside class are really good
Negative- Relate your thesis to percy.
Percy- I see that you are planning on using the idea of the educational package and i think this would be great just make sure to relate it to your ideas
Jeff:
Positive: I think that there is a good thesis and you will be able to bounce ideas off of it.
Negative:The only thing about thesis that could use more work is the opening sentence, that could use some work to get people’s attention
Percy: The quotes are good they have a good relation to your topic
Sami:
Positive: I like the start to your thesis and like that you give examples for how to do it
Negative: However it sounds a little too repetitive as well
Percy: I like the Percy quotes that you choose and think it matches your thesis
Lauren’s team peer review of Isabella DiPasquale
Lauren’s Team
Lauren:
-Positive: I love the idea of having discussions instead of class, I think it’s important to step back and learn from the unexpected.
-Negative: There a few typos, try to come up with more examples/ideas on how we can learn in situations besides the classroom
-Percy: I like how you said teachers talking about unrelated topics, try to tie this in to how Percy’s idea that you can never learn from whats intended. Ex, cant learn math in math class but maybe you hear someone talking about a new artist that you learn about in that class. Sounds weird but thats what percy says.
Jeff:
Positive: Your thesis is very strong it really hits the key points through out it. The quotes are good and can fit your topic well.
Negative: there is some extra sentences that could be cut out of the thesis or you could combine some of the ideas to make it shorter.
Percy: The quotes are good there is enough there to back up your ideas
Sami:
Positive: the content of the your essay is really good and you’re on the right path with using evidence from both Percy and Freire
Negative: However there are some grammatical errors and minor mistakes that you should look over
Percy: I also like the way you interpreted Percy’s quote and even gave a great example of how to execute it
Comments to Noah Heslop
Praise: I like your thesis and I agree that sometimes students can teach themselves better than the teachers
Constructive: Although, for some of the classes like some science classes it’s hard for a student to teach so it might not work always for a students to lead
Percy: I like your quote and it supports your thesis
Comments for Jenna and Kenzie’s topic
Praise: Great thesis and I agree with you that taking other classes brings new opportunities
Constructive: I agree that two of your topics are kinda similar but I still like them. Maybe change them a little bit and your project will be great
Percy: All the quotes support the thesis and the ideas of Percy
Peer Review for Julia DiGiorgio
- Praise: I think your thesis is off to a good start overall, and your quotes support it well
- Constructive: I think these points are valid, but you should also take into account the required gen-ed classes: students won’t always enjoy them, and consequently won’t challenge themselves
- Use of Percy: I think both quotes are really good and a lot can be written about each (if you’re doing an essay)
Peer Review for Amanda’s Team
Praise: Your quotes fit towards topic Teaching without Teaching very well.
Constructive: I would include more examples on ways to teach without teaching the ones used could be strengthened.
Use of Percy: The quotes used are very effective.
Peer Review on Amanda’s Team
Praise: Your thesis is a very good set up for the rest of the essay. It explains what is wrong and how you will be able to fix the problem.
Constructive: If you mean having the students present a topic to other students so that they are able to learn, isn’t that the same thing just without a professor. If not, explain how they will teach the information.
Percy: The quotes you picked fit the narrative of the essay well and can easily be used to support your ideas above.
Peer Review on Jason’s Team
Praise: Good way of finishing off the thesis by saying what taking outside classes might solve
Constructive: Be sure to define well rounded in your final essay
Percy: Good quotes that can easily be related to the essay