Pro:
I think this was a nice Percy quote for your topic, because when learning outside the classroom it is easier to obtain the lesson and learn. Whenever Im in class staring at a lecture i easily get distracted and the teachers point will not get across, but when Im active outside of school studying or doing extracurricular activities I pick up concepts better.
Constructive: I believe it would be beneficial to vary your vocabulary. For example, this paragraph contain the word ” you” multiple times. If this was changed, it would allow this portion of the essay to flow nicer, and create more of a rhythm in your tone.
Percy: I believe you clarified your Percy argument well. The way is was worded was straightforward and summarized it nicely.
