1 Praise: Your intro gives really good insight of what your essay is going to be about and your ideas sound very good.
1 Constructive: Maybe try re-wording this sentence so it sounds more transitional from your second point to the third point. Ex: West Chester University can also promote learning beyond the campus by offering students the opportunity to interact with people in need. (or something of that nature).
Use of Percy: The quotes you chose from Percy support your ideas very well, and you seem to have a good grasp of the meaning of these quotes in the context of your essay.
