Month: November 2019

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ThGOYB9v6Rj5YXz0IDhKmYUDUvcHzagYunWQO8NXSOU/edit?usp=sharing

Praise: really good essay so far
Constructive: maybe try finding stronger words for descriptions
Percy: quotes work very well

Praise: good thesis, very strong

Constructive: I had this same point and he told me not to use it

Percy: Good quotes to support your ideas, just make sure you analyze them well

Constructive: Focus more on what you aim to prove this seems more like an SOD

Percy: go more in depth with your ideas linked to Percy and differentiate them more, they’re very similar

Praise: good quotes that connect to your ideas just make sure you analyze

Praise: I like that you are doing a discussion rather than a traditional essay

Percy: good links to percy, but maybe further analyze them

Constructive: make sure you link to WCU more

Percy: I like this quote for your idea but maybe explain it in a sentence.

constructive: further explain this in order to get your point across better

positive: overall really good!! your points are very strong

Use of Percy: make sure you mention his writing, but good introducing him right away

Praise: good job linking all of your solutions to West Chester and Percy. Very good and strong points

Constructive: watch out for run on sentences and small grammatical errors

Praise: Good job introducing both Percy and Freire in the opening paragraph.

Constructive: watch your tenses and make sure you don’t switch it up

Use of Percy: good quote but you don’t need to introduce his writing again

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lu0kd9n7N4vS6IZRJWQL0ERPHMbi28NCwZrxVGvBbdM/edit?usp=sharing

Pro:You are very clear with your introduction. It gives me a great idea of what the essay will be about

Con: Organization could use some work, have a clear idea and then slightly gets jumbled

Percy: Great quotes, really develop your points well

Dana Roeder

Positive: Once again, great way to apply the topic with an example that’s relatively universal to all students, or at the very least feasible to most students, shows correlation.

Negative: Maybe cut back a little on the quoting, also be sure to have the correct format on the final draft.

Use of Percy: Great work on incorporating Percy’s view at the start with your thesis.

Brandon Zahal, Chad Weldon, RJ Walther

Positive: While obvious, it’s good that you’ve mentioned the underlying issue in the first slide rather than mention Percy’s article.

Negative: In general I’d just add a little more to each slide, From how it looks it’s obviously not done but a few more key pieces here and there wouldn’t hurt.

Use of Percy: Wonderful quote to be applying towards the topic of education outside the classroom, hits home the idea that students regard themselves as learners rather than storage spaces for knowledge.

Positive: I like how you compare/contrast high school and college in the opening part of your writing.
Constructive: I would recommend skimming over your essay and just proof read your sentences, check for spelling and word choice ect.
Percy: The paper has a good amount of ideas related to Percy, I would try and get a little better quotes and elaborate them more.

positive: You had very good transitions and flow from one point to another in your essay.
Constructive:Try changing your wording around and sentence structure, some parts of the essay get a little bit repetitive.
Percy: Overall the usage of Percy was great, I like how you ended the paper talking about Percy.

Constructive: I don’t like how you opened up straight off the bat with Percy. Try to have a more gradual introduction.

Percy: try to elaborate on your quotes more instead of leaving them to the end of the paragraphs

Positive: I like how short and sweet this explanation was. I like how you have a very strong argument here.

Constructive: You should introduce the problem that students are facing at wcu, and connect it with Percy’s ideas.

Praise: I like how do you have Percy’s ideas on the text and I can identify them, but you need some direct explanation from his own text.

Percy: Good use of Percy’s quotes.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OCsqYWbX2WGmHvBWAIBxbvZTttYGwrSazIzYC3KhgeA/edit?usp=sharing

Praise: I think your essay is very good, it has references, it explains the topic, and it is supported.
Criticism: I would try to explain your examples more to help thoroughly understand it.
Percy: I think your references are good but I would add more references to help support your claim.

Praise: I like how did you explain the problem to introduce it to your project.

Percy: I believe that this is the main idea and propose from both of the authors.

Constructive: I think that you should add some direct support from the text to support your ideas.