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Haley Myers – Weekly Writing & Blogs

Response to Maura

Leader: Maura Kelly

People: Makayla M, Emily F, Julia d, Mimi, john

As a group we feel the discussion groups have more negatives than positives. Constantly, discussion groups I have attended the other students rush to get them done. In addition, people who lead for discussions make the meeting time before the weekend. Students are limited in this case since the weekend’s students do not have class and by making the discussion meeting during the week, the times may conflict with one’s classes. The topics students talk about during these discussions are usually based on what we learned in class. Due to this, it just feels like our weekly discussions are very repetitive and students aren’t learning or gaining little to nothing. There have been multiple scenarios where leaders chose certain locations for discussion and fail to meet there or make the location unclear to others. Since students have more freedom to attend these sessions, we feel students come less prepared and do not put enough effort in them. During the discussion, people tend to repeat the same idea’s and no one builds off one another to formulate new idea. Overall, discussion groups help students interact with other students; however, there needs to be more structure to conduct efficient discussion groups. Without more structure, they are a waste of time.

Peer Review – Draft 2 – Sean Redding


  • You addressed the problem in your intro; however, you need to address the opportunities or solutions that the community invests in allowing students to further their studies.  The sentence starting with ” as a criminal justice major” is your thesis and should be your first sentence of the intro and then go into the details you talked about. Next explain how the community can further studies in the 4 topics you will talk about. 
  • I would say, “I believe Freire is suggesting that…”


  • Your ideas to promote community interaction to further one’s studies provide clear evidence of how the community will help one in the future work force. I really like how you focused on Criminal Justice and see the community as the biggest victim to it. 


  • You explain Percy’s quotes very clearly. I think you should find different ways to transition into the Percy quotes and begin the analysis of the quote differently instead of saying ” I believe”

Peer Review – Draft 2 – Makayla’s Team


  • I think you guys have a pretty good intro. I think it can be expanded more. You use “in” a lot to start sentences, maybe vary it. For the one sentence you can be like “High school students could spend extra hours analyzing the content learned from class; yet, in a college setting, students are expected to study extra hours to excel in their studies.”
  • I would get rid of ” the first way that a” and Just start and say “students can get involved…by joining clubs”
  • replace says with “acknowledges that,”
  • Instead of saying professional in second body, I would say “more prepared for the workforce”


  • I really like the quote you used and your explanation. You make it very clear to the reader.
  • very good explanation of the quote in second body. It was very clear and concise.  


  • All your quotes clearly emphasize your topic in the ways you plan to solve the problem of student involvement outside of the classroom. I would just transition into your first two quotes a little better than saying “Percy says”

Peer Review of Olivia Riley’s Draft

Praise: Your writing is very clear, flowing, and organized. You present the ideas of Percy swiftly with the ways taking outside courses promotes student learning. 

Constructive: Your examples need more reasoning as to why they are important to student learning.

Percy: The quote you used for paragraph one is easily understood by the reader to further the idea that students should take classes outside their major.

Peer Review Draft of Amanda Regan

Praise: You are very clear and concise on the problem of education on how students aren’t given enough courses that focus on their major but rather other courses. The problem is well established and your quotes re very strong to support Percys ideas.

Constructive: You need to transition into the quote in your paragraph and not start it as a new sentence. Also, I think you need a clearer thesis of the problem and the 4 ways you intend to solve how student’s education can be improved/or is necessary to have courses beyond the major.

Use of Percy: Your use of Percy here is very strong and evident to support your idea. try to think of a solution to fill this gap rather than critic it.

Proposal Peer Review

Jenna and Kenzie

Constructive: I feel two of your topics blend together. Gaining interpersonal skills and critical thinking skills should be merged as one topic since they both create skills needed for the workforce. Gaining interpersonal skills is your weakest solution so combining it with critical thinking would make it stronger.

Praise: Your thesis is very clear, concise, and strong. The quote used for critical thinking I think can be strongly used to aid how classes outside your major will benefit one to develop skills one will use in their profession.

Percy: Your use of Percy is very strong and aligns well with each way to seek education beyond the major; however, I would look to expand more on Percy’s ideas to emphasize how these classes outside one’s major is essential for their success for their future career.

Proposal Peer Review:

Gwen Jordan, Makayla Medycki, Maura Kelly

Constructive: I think you should move your thesis before you first sentence and get straight to the point and then explain it in your intro in which the first sentence does. If I’m right I believe the sentence starting with “taking credits” is your thesis.  I feel two of your solutions are 1 of the same.

Extra Feedback: In addition, I think you need to expand on the connection to Percy and identify how these outside-major classes promote students, like why would this help a student more than their major classes? Getting more experience in other subjects and gaining outside knowledge are similar in that you gain outside knowledge from experience in other subjects so I would merge the two together and create another solution.

Praise: Overall, I think the ideas you created for education beyond the major are going to help your essay flow well and they are very clear solutions. For gain of outside knowledge talk about how it gives them more opportunities for careers because one will have background in other curriculars to add to resume.

Percy: I think your second quote goes really well hand in hand with understanding of others to work in different situations.

Response to Laura McGroary

Group: Donny Lessin, Laura McGroary, Kira Aves, Brandon

In this discussion group we acknowledged the similarities and differences between Freire and Percy. Both writers believe teaching beyond talking, and think learning happens when people learn through visuals and other connections. In frieres essay, he argues that students are presented with new information in such a way that students don’t link a connection to make it meaningful or important. In a similar way, Percy presents the same argument by using the Grand Canyon comparison. He instigates that anyone who visits the Grand Canyon that has background knowledge of the land through post cards or reviews online defeats the purpose of seeing it in person, making the visit meaningless. Both students and tourists take in everything they hear and are told but don’t comprehend the significance of what’s being addressed.  We found as a group that Freire and Percy differ by the means of creating life experiences. Freire suggests to going out and seeking connects helps better learning while Percy suggests that going out and creating an experience doesn’t better learning since from having contextual knowledge of the experience completely the defeats the purpose of making a real-life connection for learning to happen.

Writing Project 2


Topic: 2; Learning outside the classroom

Team: Just me 

Thesis:  Students constantly find themselves in the predicament in that the information presented in class isn’t clearly comprehended. Everyone learns differently whether students learn visually, auditorily, or physically. To accommodate for all learners, education outside the classroom will help students grasp complex information presented in class to improve their comprehension of their major and minors of study. 

Way 1: Tutoring

Students can learn outside the classroom by seeking a tutor. Tutors help to review class concepts to clear up any confusion in the classroom. Whether in a small group tutoring group or 1 on 1 help, students are able to ask questions they didn’t present to the teacher in class or ask for reclassification of certain topics. Tutoring is a great way to teach students study skills by forcing students to review their notes after class. 

Way 2: Field trips/studying abroad

Students enter classrooms everyday and by freire’s banking concept of education, they are expected to understand the given deposits of information by teachers to then store it for memorization for tests. Percy suggests learning is strongest when one creates new experiences based on their curiosity. By studying abroad or going on field trips, students escape the classic classroom experience and adventure into the unknown experiences to further their learning. Studying abroad provides real-world awareness of the topic at hand allowing the individual to make connections with their studies.

Way 3: Discussion groups

Way 4: Internships

  • Work experience is an important part of education for one’ career of choice

Quote 1: “Our complex friend stands behind his fellow tourists at the Bright Angel Lodge and sees the canyon through them and their predicament, their picture taking and busy disregard. In a sense, he exploits his fellow tourists; he stands on their shoulders to see the canyon” (Percy 1).

Quote 2:  “It is given expression by their repeated exclamations that “this is too good to be true,” and by their anxiety that it may not prove to be so perfect” (Percy 3).

Quote 3: “Does this mean that we should get rid of museums? No, but it means that the sightseer should be prepared to enter into a struggle to recover a sight from a museum” (Percy 6).

Response to Mikayla Medycki

Today Kenzie Neidierer, Sabrina Lindley, David Macmulle, and I met to discuss Mikayla Medycki’s intended discussion of what could change or ruin an experience for someone. There was a misinterpretation of where to meet due to the cold weather, so the 4 of us could not find her; however, we still discussed the same topic. Percy speaks of a metaphor of seeing that demands the reader to differentiate seeing and knowing. We agreed that on a trip to the Grand Canyon, it’s better to not know what you are about to see so that your eyes will interpret the canyon by how your mind processes what it is seeing. If you see post card or pictures online of the canyon before you go it may ruin the experience since the landscape will not be an unfamiliar to the human eye. Researching the canyon before you see the canyon will ruin the experience since it won’t be something unknown to you triggering your curiosity to arise. In a sense, Percy recognizes that you see the Grand Canyon as a symbolic complex – with a deeper value and impact on the experience. David made a good point that Percy emphasized that if you go on tours instructed by a tour guide, you are limited by its rails and paths, and to achieve a better experience you should go off the track to create your own unique experience.

Writing Project 1 Updated Draft

West Chester University is divided between academic buildings and the dorms in which students live in. Freire wants students to recognize that with education, the divide between academic buildings and student’s home’s separates living and learning into two individual concepts that aren’t cohesively intertwined in the world. Due to this, teachers and students interact differently and absorb information in a variety of different ways. West Chester University can link these two concepts together by moving academic classrooms into residence halls. This can create a more unified bond between the students and the teacher by helping both recipients of the matter retain information for further use. In doing so, West Chester can also create more flexible seating in classrooms so that students feel more comfortable and relaxed in their environment, as they do in the homes of their dorms or houses. Lastly, the school should implement more online classes where students can learn in the privacy of their own home. This concept can help bridge the gap between school and home lifestyles. Online schooling can offer a more private and enhanced way of learning for students since they can communicate with their teacher, one on one, without worrying about the intimidation that face to face contact brings.

Moving educational classrooms into residence halls will help fix Freire’s idea that in society, education has its constraints. By adding these classrooms, the line between the academic buildings and the residential halls will fade away with all the negativity that the line provoked in education. This new change will provide different intellectual experiences in the residential halls for both teachers and students. Freire advocates that a common stereotype of education persists to be where “the teacher teaches, and the students are taught.” The addition of the classrooms will make that statement contradictory in that teachers will be able to learn from the students’ by observing their study habits in the residential halls in order to prepare them for future exams. Students will also have better chances of connected with their professors due to the decrease in class size. Dorms are a quiet place where one can study, and the library offers the same exact use; however, one is meant for living and relaxing, and the other is meant for studying and being productive. In the convenience of one’s own home, students often get distracted and aren’t focused as much in their studies. We must re-shape the space we learn in to access our intellectuality. For health science majors, they constantly travel to south campus for classes and meet the potential conflict of arriving late due to the bus transportation. With health science courses taught in the residential halls, students have no reason to be late to class. This enhancement will improve student’s productivity in their own living spaces by allowing students to sleep in longer with more time to prepare for class. This relocation of academic facilities will offer students opportunities in finding other students in their residential buildings to study with. Overall, the new rearrangement on campus we’ll increase the involvement of students since more undergraduates meet others in their own residential halls.

         Freire implements the idea that learning happens in conversation and both recipients of the matter must be present for learning to occur. Professors at West Chester University expect students to ask a friend what they missed in class to recover the information they need for future tests. Students cannot learn class concepts as well because it’s just as easy as copying the notes from a friend. When students are sick, running late to class, or cannot make the class due to personal matters, they shouldn’t be denied access to what they missed. Freire advocates that students must “adapt to the world as it is and to the fragmented view of reality deposited in them” (Freire 2). Freire makes a well-intentioned point highlighting that students adjust to their environment based on the reality that in life, no one is perfect. With West Chester University’s installment of the teleconference software, students can responsibly dial into class or lectures while still attaining the knowledge they would have missed if the software had not existed. This allows students to still be able to communicate in a virtual manner, even if they are not physically in the classroom. In a virtual society, not all needed resources are in the same room. Adding a conferencing software will allow for remote connection. Students will be able to dial in from the convenience of their own homes and most likely with no distractions to follow along with the class material.

          In college, students frequently change their majors to pursue different careers; however, not all students are given the same opportunities to transfer into their desired major. Specifically speaking, nursing is a widely competitive major at West Chester University and the department limits how many students can take part of that major. As for dropping and enrolling in classes, the university implements a similar limitation but on classes for when they fill up. The university should look to expand certain courses year after year by examining at how many students request to enroll in those specific courses. In the long run, if these courses offered larger size classrooms to hold more students, undergraduates would be able to take their desired courses and they will graduate on time. In general, the university should look to expand the different fields of study offered. As for switching majors, the university should apply this same concept by expanding the nursing department. Currently, West Chester University requires that students who look to internally transfer into the nursing program must complete a list of prerequisites to be considered for the program. The department of nursing should offer these students the same opportunities to easily transfer into their desired major instead of applying to college for the second time. The more students given this same opportunity will eventually decreases the number of students who are undeclared in their major of study.  West Chester University’s department of nursing is limiting the seats they offer, making it more complicated for students transferring into the major. Students that are passionate about the practice are being limited in their desired course of study. Universities have students do clinicals in hospitals to obtain hours of operation before they enter the working force. In essence, students are already working in the work force with no pay. Freire states that, “the truth is, however, that the oppressed are not “marginals,” are not people living “outside” society. They have always been “inside”—inside the structure which made them “beings for others” (Freire 2). Reducing limitations on courses and major transfers, students will be able to live outside West Chester’s controlled society and be given more freedom with more space in classes. Students should be offered the same opportunities as those in or transferring to other majors to better their success in the outside world.  If West Chester associated themselves with a larger hospital to provide more clinical opportunities for students, then the nursing department would be re-shaped, without a distinct limit on students enrolling in the major. By increasing room sizes for popular courses year to year, the space for hospital clinicals, and the amount of seats in nursing courses, those students who look to transfer into nursing are offered equal opportunities to transfer into that major. This would make it more liberating for students to be able to freely change their course of study without any restrictions preventing them to further their learning.