Month: October 2019

Praise- You have a strong thesis that includes your main points and ideas. I would add a little more detail. other than that it is great.

Constructive- I would add detail to this point. Explain why it is that students have a preconceived idea of learning. where did they get the preconceived ideas?

Percy- To put it bluntly: A student who has
the desire to get at a dogfish or a Shakespeare sonnet may have the greatest difficulty in salvaging the creature itself from the educational package in which it is presented. The great difficulty is that he is not aware that there is a difficulty; surely, he thinks, in such a fine classroom, with such a fine textbook, the sonnet must come across! What’s wrong with me? pg4 II

Praise: Your second quote is very strong and backs up your thesis well. If you use the quote correctly it could be the part of your essay that pulls everything together.

Constructive: Your first sub-point is very broad which will make finding 2 more sub-points very difficult.

Percy: The 2 quotes you have chosen can easily support your thesis.

Praise: the end of your thesis is well put together and seems well. 

Constructive: I think your sub points could be more detailed and give more information. 

Percy: your quotes use percy’s work well to support. 

Constructive: I think you could go more in depth in this part of your thesis and be more specific.
Percy: You flow percys work well into your thesis and you chose good quotes from his writing.

Praise: your quotes seem to flow well in supporting your points.

Praise: I agree with your sub points of how WCU should promote clubs in student’s specific major.

Constructive: I think your thesis could be fixed and become more clear because at first I was confused about what you were trying to say.

Use of Percy: The quotes are strong and can tie in well with your thesis. However, try to revise your thesis.

Leah:
Praise: I agree with your thesis that students should take different classes outside of their major to create a better understanding of different classes. I also like your subpoena of promoting clubs that are focused on specific majors.

Constructive: If students would choose the professor, how would the class change? The teacher would still teach the same concepts that the students are upset about.

Percy: Make sure to explain how each quote relates to the subpoenas. Some fo the quotes are hard to understand, jut make sure you explain them.

Praise:

Maura: Your thesis is good and explains why we should take classes outside of our own majors. 

Makayla: Your second topic is good because it backs up your thesis by saying you need other classes outside your major. 

Gwen: All your topics are good just try to relate them more to Percy

Constructive:

Maura: i would look over your third topic and revise it to relate more to Percy

Makayla: for your first topic try to more in depth when relating to Percy 

Gwen: i would change your second sentence in your thesis to your new ideas

Percy: The quote you used for your second topic is really good make sure to incorporate it into the topic.  

Relating the quote for your third topic is good and corresponds well with how Percy tells us that when we are trying to get the value X we only get a millionth of X .

The dogfish quote from Percy relates well with your first topic on learning learning other topics other than our major. 

Praise: good use of Freire and fidning quotes that relate to your problem and solution.

Constructive: Your problem is clear but I would try to make your solution to it more clear. How can the students take their education into their own hands? and what can teacher specifically do?

Use of percy: Your quotes chosen by Percy are good. How will you relate them to your thesis?

Praise: you two sub points on your topic are strong and on topic and can be used well for your essay.

Construction: In your thesis, identify the problem at hand more clearly and why it is a problem.

Use of Percy: Your quotes from Percy are good and relate well to your chosen topic.

Praise:

Maura: You have some very strong points in your thesis that you can write your paper on 

Makayla: I like how you connected both Frier and Percy in this essay, i feel like it will really back up your work and support your topic. 

Gwen: I think the idea of having open discussions is a great idea for the topic you picked. 
Constructive:

Maura: There are a couple typos in the third sentence that could be fixed 
Makayla: I think your thesis is a little long
Gwen: shorten your thesis and make a clear point on what the essay will be about (thesis statement)

Percy: 

Maura: The quote from Frier backs up your idea of teachers teaching, but try to find more Percy quotes on that as well.

Makayla: I think that the two quote you picked could potentially be very useful when supporting your evidence. 

Gwen: I think you can relate the dogfish quote from Percy to the idea of how teachers can teach topics that aren’t related to the class

Amanda and Leah

Amanda’s:

Praise: I agree with your thesis on how spending major outside your classes can explore new ideas and adventures. 

Constructive: Exploring and challenging yourself is good but wouldn’t that be just wasting a student’s path to their own major.

Use of Percy:  You have strong supporting ideas and it goes well with your thesis.

Leah:

Praise: I like that your thesis talks about people taking different classes and opening their understanding of different classes.

Constructive: Be more specific when talking about your examples of how students are challenged, like give examples of how they are challenged in these different classes.

Percy: Your quotes make sense. Taking classes a student is not used to does allow for them to understand how to study because that is what happened to me.

praise – I liked all of the subpoints and think they were all well explained

constructive- try to write up one sentence for the thesis to tie all the ideas together and give a clear understanding to the reader

Percy – The first quote can be used for your tutors idea. Both selected quotes are strong.

praise – Thesis was strong and set up the reader to understand what you’re going to write about.

constructive – The subpoints made were strong, but make sure they back up your thesis and add a little bit more on how they connect to Percy.

Percy – The quotes are strong but make sure to connect them to your points.

Praise: Great subpoints and ways to solve the problem

Constructive: Thesis could be more clear and connected to subpoints

Use of Percy: Percy’s quotes are clear and connect back to subpoints.

Praise: great job explaining the problem with detail.

Constructive: No clear thesis and ways for the problem to be solved.

Use of Percy: Great use of the Percy quote because it shows your understanding of his view.

Emily Strassner

Praise: I like how the quotes connect with the idea of indirect education is necessary for students in order to create critical thinking.

Constructive: I understand your idea, but you should add more about how unrelated courses are necessary for students and how it could impact their education in their major.

Percy: Your quotes and ideas, support Percy ideas on how symbolic complex break the idea of students to learn something for themselves.

Laura McGroary

Praise: Your ideas in your thesis and quotes connect with what your try to explain.

Percy: Your thesis is very well connect to Percy’s ideas. This quote goes very well with how students have a precoincived ideas of what they will learn.

Constructive: You introduce very well the problem students have in WCU, you should complete in your thesis how the problem at WCU could be solve.

Kyle : good points, and ideas on topic support and analytical presentation will be the essential part

More specific on the thesis statement, should be a definitive statement

Good use of the Percy quote, in understanding that the educator cannot be part of the solution

Rabi :positive and neg
good thesis, and relation to Percy, more specific in sub points though, like list the strategies.
on Percy: good quote to support thesis

Haley Myers

Praise: You have good ideas and I like how you incorporated that students learn differently.
Constructive: Your thesis is more as an intro than a thesis. A thesis should be short and concise. Your last example of how it can be recovered does not have a lot of information. So try and get more reasons to support it.
Percy: Good use of Percy, just integrate the quotes into how one is able to learn outside the classroom.

Meghan Kidd & Sam Pawluczk

Praise: I like your connection to the beaten path and general education classes. This is a strong argument.

Constructive: Your thesis needs more added to how classes outside of the major are beneficial.

Percy: Your use of quotes from Percy matches the information that you want to talk about.

Haley Myers

Praise: I really like your idea! You have a very strong thesis and very strong ideas!

Constructive: You need more information on how you are you are going to use the discussion groups.

Percy: You have a good idea for how you are going to apply Percy to your idea.